lonely december

by hollow hymns

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by Heather Alice Crawford
originally released under the name "datagirl" but that is no more
my first album release. 'lonely december' is an apology letter and a vent post for my feelings about myself and others. these songs hold a special meaning in my heart for a special time of my life. i hope you enjoy✨
all songs were written february to march, and recorded march to april of 2016 in my bedroom. huge thanks to skylar, khris, matt, the temple, and luries childrens hospital.


released May 1, 2016



all rights reserved


hollow hymns Crystal Lake, Illinois

Heather Alice Crawford

sad lofi vibes from a queer translesbian witch

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Track Name: lonely
i looked at myself in the mirror
and my eyes followed the sins as they appeared on my skin
and the knife i held fell upon the skin i once loved

this was the end
i dropped to my knees as the weight of my grief overcame me
and i looked at myself in the mirror
and i hated it
i hated it i hated it i hated it
Track Name: dream journal
i wrote down your name in my dream journal
i felt your heart inside me
thumping and beating i know it is true
we said goodbye as we left this world, alone

climing the mountian, snow in my eyes
snow in your eyes
we looked at each other and smiled
not because we wanted to, but because... we had to.
we helped each other up
we became one with each other, finally
never again did we feel remorse, pain, incompleteness
there was only us now.
on top of the mountain.

this memory stayed with me for the rest of my life.
your smile stayed with me for the rest of my life.
the mountain stayed with me for the rest of my life.
you stayed with me until i reached the top
and now we're gone.
Track Name: translucent
i dreamed of you
with no reason to
i dont deserve these thoughts

my body laid
on your bedroom floor
i know that i must leave

i pushed you away
i have no feelings

youre always so surrounded
your body is overcrowded
please dont take him away

i know ive been an awful friend
but i promise ill make it up

you live in my eyes
a translucent heart

stay away
ill keep you here
thinking about
the feeling of being you
Track Name: song about pills
my body changes, the pills dissolve under my tongue
the skin is shifting right into the place that i need them to
to feel fixed and clear and whole
but my body still aches and hurts and cries
i still feel im not right

dont know who i am, i dont know what the hell i want
is this really true or am i just a fake?
labels are scary, i dont want myself to commit
to something that i might just regret

i dont need you to be here for me
ill be okay on my own
and i know that you feel concerned for me
ill just be a burden
Track Name: promise
one rotation around the sun
you promised me a gift
you sent messages through the sea
i can only read them when i drink

throwing out your poppy seeds
drink when i drink then sleep
throw your body out with me
ill see you when i sleep

i threw up our memories
i gave up a long time ago
give me dreams of sympathy

locked my body up in chains
ive let you control my name
i dont care anymore

one rotation around the sun
you promised me your hands

two rotations around the sun
please come back
please join me
my dreams are empty
im begging
Track Name: are you still there
i drift away from everyone
im getting stronger as i get weaker
i wanna see them smiling bright
i wish that i had done it right

my bones snap
my blood drips
im alone
i cant grasp
my own hands
my own mind
im too cold
i will die