holy

by hollow hymns

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about

healing songs about divinity, reality, and maturity
written and recorded january to june 2017

credits

released July 1, 2017

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all rights reserved

about

hollow hymns Crystal Lake, Illinois

Heather Alice Crawford

sad lofi vibes from a queer translesbian witch

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Track Name: holy
holding your hand it feels so very soft
holding your head i wish i had the strength
but when you talk
it feels okay

youre so perfect in every single way
heavenly, you walk towards me
when you cry
i know im killing you

i wanna see the light of this world
i wanna be someone to nurture it
but im not allowed to
im just a murderer

i hope heaven will treat you well
god please tell me whats wrong with me
so i wont kill
light ever again


please make me holy
Track Name: derealization
what would it take to make you apologize?
ive asked a thousand times but never a response
dont offer anything, i wont accept it
dont tell me anything, it wont have meaning

what would it take to get rid of the impressions
on my skin, and on my life, and on everything i have?
regurgitated dissociation, it makes no difference
i dont feel like im at home


crack my bones and wash my skin
disassemble from the base
inject hypnotic hallucinations
to feel some other way

flip the stereo clean the noise
what did you say? i wont understand
break the pieces that need fixing
leave me alone, ill live this way


i wanna get away
i want to feel safe, again
i wanna get away
paint your brain a different place
Track Name: ill feel fine
ill take back what i said
if youd loosen your grip on my throat
and i feel fine

and ill see you
on the back of every memory
and ill feel, ill feel fine


to see it another way, to see it anywhere alone
you want me to see it your way
but i feel fine

act like youve entered me
chain every every every every limb
and ill feel, ill feel fine
Track Name: the warm sun above us
still setting sand
the unforgiving path
my dusting stance
the sultry ever warmness

the setting star
cold dried up blood
green simple light
fiery pesticide
Track Name: the thunderstorm
its cold out here
it keeps raining to no end
the ground is soft and opaque
my feet feel like theyre sinking

my eyes are seen from a distance
they pierce through foggy gray
the creaky rusted home
why wont we flee, why do we stay every night?
Track Name: trying my best to exist
how to rip the insides from you
how to rip my skin clean

bound in bed, my skins turning red
i spent another ten dollars

why do i keep repeating
inside this endless loop of regret?

you yelled at me like you knew who i am
you dont know who i am

you think youre so fucking smart?
well ill let you be the judge...

when your mother kicked you out
and when i made my arms bleed



the spirit holds but grows and decays
the spirits boiling deeper

ill gouge out your pretty eyes
so you can see me all the time

this feeling is what i wanna kill
a figment worth living for

and im digging my hands into the earth
with all the muscle i have

concave appendages rise through me
another null analogy

we'll die inside your mothers grave
ill take it to my grave


we'll die inside your mothers grave
ill take it to my grave
Track Name: real family
i wont make my bed
i wont take my meds
you make me feel
i want to make you . . . . . . . .

i feel better
i feel beautiful


mama i care for you
ill make things better, mama
he wont choke us out
i wont let him

"we can do it
i guess we just have to do it"
Track Name: pancakes
i keep seeing you in my dreams
where im brave enough to do all the things
that i want to and make everything okay

wrap your arms around me
and forget you didnt like me
until you remember the bad things i said about you

lets go out for pancakes
n talk about all our deepest thoughts
we wont dare to tell anyone else about
Track Name: my only friend
driving my dog
to the hospital
shes sick
been in pain for a while

shes my
only friend
i bring her
to her death bed


n i wish that my friends
spent more time with her
n i wish that my dad
loved her as much as she loved him

n i hope that my prayers
werent left unheard


driving my dog
back home
Track Name: report #17-002421
deceive me
pin me
rip my hair out, throw me down the stairs

hold me up from my neck
against the screen door
my face turning purple


my mothers drunk
my dog is sick
im scared im scared i am scared
i am scared

screaming

you fell down the stairs as your fist missed
my face and i tripped your ankle against
a razor blade

called me a faggot and kicked me out of the car


i am not troubled
i am not troubled
i am not troubled
i am safe, i am home